Crossroads
So, today was an interesting day at work. Things here have been slowly gaining momentum -- towards what I'm not always sure, but it often feels like we are on the brink of total chaos, and then somehow we are snapped back to some semblance of 'normal'.
I had an hour long conversation with a friend and colleague of mine, and the discussion basically centered on the fact that he is no longer happy here at the university, that he has several intriguing offers from elsewhere, and that he, for the first time, is seriously contemplating those offers and getting the hell out of Dodge.
Now, those of you that know me also know that I have not been the happiest fellow at my job for about a year now. I find that being a university professor isn't really what I thought it would be. I had visions of teaching and collegiality and the back-and-forth give-and-take of ideas. Basically, I thought being junior faculty would be like graduate school with some more responsibilities and a better paycheck.
I've been very wrong about that assumption, and have come to find that my real love (teaching and pedagogy) is seriously undervalued in the sciences and engineering, and what is important is grantsmanship and the ability to secure funding. This is, quite possibly, the aspect of the job that I like the least. Coupled with the fact that our department always seems like it is on the verge of collapse, that nothing meaningful ever gets done, and we have no real leadership, you might begin to understand why I don't like about 75-85% of my job.
But, I have persevered. I keep telling myself that it will get better, that all junior faculty feel like this, and that I just need to tough it out until I get my one lucky break and get a project funded.
Unfortunately, I increasingly feel like I am pounding a square peg into a round hole. This job just doesn't seem to 'fit'. My biggest dilemma is that I have absolutely no frakking clue as to what I would do instead. I have been so focused on being faculty since my undergraduate days that I really have never thought of other possibilities outside of academia. I have never been in the traditional job market, and I have no idea where one goes to find a Ph.D. level job outside of academia.
All of this fell into stark relief today as I talked with my colleague. He is very senior and very well respected in the field. Basically, he is the glue that is holding the department together through sheer force of personality and will. If he leaves, even for a one-year sabbatical, there will be enormous holes in basically everything that no one here has the experience to fill. (This is the problem with having a faculty that is almost 66% untenured). I fear that the department, bereft of the one semblance of leadership that it has, will simply descend into total ineffectiveness.
And so I ask myself, is it time to seriously consider a career change?
I had an hour long conversation with a friend and colleague of mine, and the discussion basically centered on the fact that he is no longer happy here at the university, that he has several intriguing offers from elsewhere, and that he, for the first time, is seriously contemplating those offers and getting the hell out of Dodge.
Now, those of you that know me also know that I have not been the happiest fellow at my job for about a year now. I find that being a university professor isn't really what I thought it would be. I had visions of teaching and collegiality and the back-and-forth give-and-take of ideas. Basically, I thought being junior faculty would be like graduate school with some more responsibilities and a better paycheck.
I've been very wrong about that assumption, and have come to find that my real love (teaching and pedagogy) is seriously undervalued in the sciences and engineering, and what is important is grantsmanship and the ability to secure funding. This is, quite possibly, the aspect of the job that I like the least. Coupled with the fact that our department always seems like it is on the verge of collapse, that nothing meaningful ever gets done, and we have no real leadership, you might begin to understand why I don't like about 75-85% of my job.
But, I have persevered. I keep telling myself that it will get better, that all junior faculty feel like this, and that I just need to tough it out until I get my one lucky break and get a project funded.
Unfortunately, I increasingly feel like I am pounding a square peg into a round hole. This job just doesn't seem to 'fit'. My biggest dilemma is that I have absolutely no frakking clue as to what I would do instead. I have been so focused on being faculty since my undergraduate days that I really have never thought of other possibilities outside of academia. I have never been in the traditional job market, and I have no idea where one goes to find a Ph.D. level job outside of academia.
All of this fell into stark relief today as I talked with my colleague. He is very senior and very well respected in the field. Basically, he is the glue that is holding the department together through sheer force of personality and will. If he leaves, even for a one-year sabbatical, there will be enormous holes in basically everything that no one here has the experience to fill. (This is the problem with having a faculty that is almost 66% untenured). I fear that the department, bereft of the one semblance of leadership that it has, will simply descend into total ineffectiveness.
And so I ask myself, is it time to seriously consider a career change?
posted by Professor B at 4:22 PM
1 Comments:
Sounds like opportunity isn't just knocking, it's rapping on the gargoyle-shaped metallic banger very loudly while, in the background, its little cousin is playing with a klaxon so loud it was rejected from an assembly line for military automobiles.
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